


a hundred ways to say i love you

by KingLear



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Drabbles, Fluff, I need to relax, M/M, Oneshot, Stripper Dirk, Supernatural - Freeform, Tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 21:09:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6626380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingLear/pseuds/KingLear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>what it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. pull over. let me drive.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm just writing prompts and drabbles from that thing cause my writing stills are rust-ay. and also because alpha stridercest gives me life and angst.
> 
> http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> feelings, how gross.

Dirk sat in the car, fiddling with the settings on his phone; tampering between high and low lighting when his Bro came stumbling into the car from the driver's side. He slurred with a hic, "'M sorryy fer maken you wait, baby." 

He leaned over to give a kiss on Dirk's forehead but Dirk moved away before the alcohol-tainted breath could meet the crown of his head. He didn't need to see his brother's ruby eyes to know that they were filled with brief hurt. He looked down at his red painted fingers and began scratching at the paint, refusing to look back up. The uncomfortable silence that filled the moist air lodged a stone in Dirk's stomach and he swallowed his spit with forced ease. 

His brother huffed and sat down next to him, not moving to put on his seat-belt nor put the key into the ignition. They sat down together as Dave began rambling on about his day, words filling up the silence but not doing anything to cut the tension that was heavy as a brick. Dirk replied with non-committal noises, desperate to avoid another heart-to-heart with his brother of that week.

At the beginning when Dirk had been the naive and clingy teen, desperate to believe the words and apologies that Dave would use which were all promises of alcohol support; he'd believed that their talks would help him. Some way. Any way. But, now? Dirk knew better. Countless of drunk phone calls and missed birthday parties and women sleeping over their home and expensive birthday gifts with little substance had taught him otherwise. Dave would never change; he was too stuck in his own trap of a facade that he threw up for everyone to believe and his vicious cycle of self-hatred. 

He hadn't noticed that his guardian's speech had faltered to a stop after he'd realised that Dirk wasn't really... paying attention to what he was saying. Dave quietened down and felt the tears building up in his drunken eyes. "Dirk..."Dave called out.

Dirk didn't look up.

" _Dirk_." Dave persisted, holding out his hand to shake Dirk's shoulder before thinking better and dropping the arm.

" _What_." Dirk responded.

"Do. Do you h-hate me?" Dave hiccuped to choke back his incoming sobs. 

Dirk looked up briefly. 

"I don't hate you." Dirk replied.

"It's okay if you do, you know?" Dave carried on, "I know I'm really, really pathetic and the worst guardian and role model because I can't even spend some normal time with my own kid without going off to drink shots of whiskey and coke and completely ditching you for hours. What's the point of me being such a famous producer if I barely even see you? How long were you even stuck here in the car, waiting for me? Oh, GOD! I don't even know, do I?" Dave sobbed on.

Dave reached out for Dirk and Dirk reluctantly allowed Dave to touch him, his fingers clutching on to his arms tightly. Dave slumped his head on Dirk's shoulder and began to let out large drops of tears on to Dirk's hat-top. Dirk awkwardly patted his guardian's back.

He could smell the alcohol and sadness dripping off of his brother and made a decision for himself.

"I'll drive." Dirk softly said to Dave. 

"What?" Dave sniffled, raising his head.

"I'll drive us home." Dirk calmly stated, "You're not sober enough to not get us into a car wreck."

Dave looked at Dirk, with a look of awe. 

"O-okay."

"Stop looking at me like that."

"O-okay."

"Seriously, bro."


	2. it reminded me of you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i hate myself lmfao.  
> dirk is like 3-4 years in this and dave is like 10. how does age work????? even when they're young, they absolutely adore each other tbh.  
> Warning: abuse, Bro being a dickcanoe.

Dirk giggled as he peeked through his small fingers at his bigger brother's back. "Di-irk, you promised you wouldn't look!" Dave whined, crossing his arms. 

"I'm not lookin!" Dirk defended and a large smile stretched itself on his face. "C'mon! How long are you gonna make me wait, Dave?" 

"Calm down, sugartits! I'm nearly done!" Dave retorted, fiddling with the loose strings and tightening them together. 

"Bro, won't be happy with you swearing." Dirk noted, a tone dark for a three year old, eyes fiddling with the bruise on his thigh. 

"Well, what Bro doesn't know won't hurt him, will it?" Dave turned around and kissed Dirk on his head. "Anyway! I'm done, so you can look now."

Dirk removed his hands from his face and immediately gasped in awe, clapping his hands together as he tried to wobble his way to his brother. He lifted his arms as an indication to be carried. 

"Fine, Dirk, but you're getting too old for this." Dave frowned as he obligingly lifted his baby bro in his arms. He lightly bounced him as he walked over to his project. "So... What do you think, bro?" Dave looked at his brother's orange eyes that were wondrously lit.

"IT LOOKS SO COOL, DAVE." Dirk gushed. The science project in subject was of the solar system. The mechanics of it seems beautifully confusing to Dirk's young mind as he tried to look everywhere at once, the perfectly rounded planets hanging on black pieces of string, the backgrounds were shimmering with glitter and there were glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on the cardboard and particularly the alien sitting on the comet by the Milky Way with a pair of wands by her feet.

"Dave!! Whose that on the comet?" Dirk turned to look at his brother, then looked back at the alien, hands reaching out to touch.

"It's an alien named Rose." Dave thoughtfully said, "She's here to protect us from Bro." 

Dirk sniffled as he turned away and laid his head on his older brother's shoulder. "I'm hungry, Dave." 

"I know you are, baby." Dave ran a hand through his younger brother's fluffy hair and closed his eyes, arms growing weak at the heaviness of his younger brother. He wobbled to sit down on the sofa and sat Dirk on his lap. They sat together and didn't say anything for a while, except to shuffle about every few minutes. Bro wouldn't be back, thankfully for the next couple of hours because of his work at the Smuppet company but that meant there would be no food either. 

There was no food in the fridge, only shitty swords and frozen smuppets and Dave hardly thought he could feed Dirk plump ass and cheap metal for dinner. 

 He felt the rise and fall of his baby brother's chest as he breathed and he took comfort in the smell of Dirk's hair. Feeling a hard material in his pant pocket, he reached out and saw that it was another glow in the dark sticker and peeled the back off to stick on Dirk's forehead.

"Da-ave. Stop being silly." Dirk pouted.

"But, I'm not being silly, Di-irk." Dave imitated.

"What'd you put on my head, then, huh?" Dirk blinked up at Dave.

"It's one of 'em stickers." Dave replied, matter-of-factly.

"Buh, why?" Dirk asked.

"I do what I want." Dave said. "And I say that you're the brightest star in the entire solar system!" He bopped the star on Dirk's head and then proceeded to tickle the daylights out of his brother whilst drinking in the sight and laughter of Dirk's resounding laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> doododododoodododododododooddoo.


	3. no, no, it's my treat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which dirk and alpha dave are gay af for e/o but like incest is bad for publicity.

Dirk looked over to where his brother was sat, the first three buttons on his suit purposely unbuttoned to make him look like the smug pretentious fool that he was. His date was sitting near to almost on his lap, hanging off of it as he fawned over Dirk's famous movie director bro. Dirk felt waves of irritation wash him thoroughly and he fought to scratch the itch sitting under his skin. His brother was doing nothing to exacerbate the assface sitting on his lap's actions but he'd also done nothing to suggest that he was adverse to his presence.

And, yeah, Dirk knew he was being irrational and that Dave loved him and not the crusty heap of limbs planted near his lap and that it was only to reinforce 'cooldude bro douche' persona that he put in for the public and media to gobble up like choking vultures but he was only a human and he had feelings and his feelings were currently telling him to punch the fuck out of the trollop and also possibly (Definitely) Dave for dragging him to this event even though he knew Dirk would hate having to pretend that he was something that he was not.  

His brother hadn't even looked over at him once throughout the entire night, only dragging his drunk ass over to introduce him to some hoity-toity 'big-shot' old white movie producers who'd give Dirk the damn shivers with the nasty-ass looks that they sent his way.

Dirk's date, that Dave's publicity agents urged him to have, sat with him looking just as bored as Dirk felt. He turned around, deciding there and then that he would help 'positively' reinforce the image that his brother wanted. _The things I fucking do for you, Dave._ He rolled his eyes on the inside.

"So..." Dirk said, looking over at the green-eyed hunk sitting with him. If Dirk wasn't in a happy relationship with Dave, dudes like these were who he'd usually go for. The fellow looked at him in surprise and happily replied, "Oh, jolly! Hello there." 

"Um... yeah. So like, I just realised I don't know your name."  _Yikes, Dirk, 'cause that's what you really fucking start with._

"Oh, bother! Apologies, I hadn't realised I was being such a hunky dory of a bone head about meeting the great Dave Strider that I accidentally neglected my own date and forgot to introduce myself!" The dude apologised, profusedly.

"It ain't no thang, bro." Dirk shrugged, "I'm Dirk."

"I definitely know who you are, Strider!" The man said, "I'm Jake English and it's a boondoogle of a chance to be able to acquaint with you!"

Dirk smiled at the excited puppy that was Jake English. 

"Well, Jake. How are you finding the party so far?" Dirk asked, scratching his painted-red nails. 

"A little more boring than I'd thought it would be." Jake scrunched his nose up, pushing his black-rimmed glasses back up his nose. 

"These things usually are." Dirk grinned.

"And what's up with goddamned food? It's like feeding fucking woodpeckers!" Jake gestured to the small fingerfoods and Dirk couldn't help but agree.

"Trust me, I'd rather be eating out a large box of pepperoni and jalapeno pizza and just lazing around but my bro decided that I need more human contact and dragged me out here." Dirk rolled his eyes, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear and froze. He'd just thought of the best way to piss Dave off and make it so that he couldn't say jack shit to him.

It was also most likely that he was going to regret this in the morning.

_Welp._

He took a subtle breath in and channelled his inner-Lalonde before tipping his shades down at Jake to look at him with lazy amber eyes and then casually asking, "Do you want to get out of here and head to get some real food? My treat."

"It'd be my darn tooting pleasure, Dirk!" Jake excitedly said, standing up and holding out a warm hand that Dirk took. They walked hurriedly out of the party as Dirk's phone set off with a message that was undoubtedly from Dave; he didn't have to look to know that Dave was telling him to not go but. 

He looked at Jake's bouncy step and ignored the flashing of cameras and the undeniable headlines that were soon to hit the day after.

_Couldn't take it back now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and also writing jake is fucking hard when his speech makes u want to somersault into a swimming pool of spaghetti.


	4. come here, let me fix it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka sorry for not updating for like three years lmao.  
> here have some stripperstuck.

David restricted his hands by his sides and looked up in awe at the orange-eyed beauty in front of him. In all his years of existence, he'd never seen a sight so vulgar and delicious, simultaneously making him want to pin the beautiful man down, and also run away from the sight of him, quick and fast.

His tanned skin glowed in the strobe lighting of the stage, as his sultry hips moved in sync to the beat of the rambunctious music, a silver of tantalizing skin showing with every shift of his hip. David bit his lips as he kept track of the man on stage, tracing his movement with his eyes, following. From what David had heard from his own research and the people around him, the man on the stage was the elusive 'Prince of Hearts', a stripper so popular and in high-demand, that the man had a personal and private list of specific clientele that he attended to, should he have want for such a person. He didn't have to dance publicly often, for he brought enough cash revenue by just dancing one night.

In fact, people would line up at the doors for hours upon hours, just to catch glimpse of the blond-haired beauty. It was simply fortunate, that David had connections with the club-owner, Rose Lalonde, his blood sister and a half, that he was able to sit front row and even reach out and clasp the skin and rub against the oils that the stripper had obviously rubbed all over his body. Reveling when said man shivered, slightly. 

The club was packed to the brim with patrons, every sweaty palm and breath infecting his personal space, but it was all worth it. 

He caught eye with the stripper, and the man held the gaze as if it were the last morsel to taste on his plate. He grinned at David with half-lidded eyes, gazing at him with enamored lust, and David shifted in his seat, feeling a throbbing setting in his lower regions that was far too inappropriate, despite the setting. The man traversed up his body, caressing himself through his flimsy costume, up, up, up and pinched his perky nipples, rubbing them through the crop top and groaning out loud, a sound that was drowned out by the thumping of the too-loud music, a fact that made David want to curse out every man alive.

With the other hand, the Prince placed his fingers on his pink pouty lips and pressed in, the hollow of his cheeks clear from his view, as he tipped his neck bare for David to see, a display for his eyes, and David could have growled out and taken the man right there and then, patrons be damned. 

His eyes dilated, and he parted his legs, a power pose that he wasn't aware that he was able to accomplish quite well. He cocked his head and did not break the eye-contact that the angel had initiated. He'd not even blinked once. The angel reluctantly conceded, blinking his pretty orange eyes and looking demurely up at David with lustrous intent, with a suck of his fingers, he'd released them, a spittle connecting the finger and the mouth.

David bit his lip and pressed his fingers to his thigh to prevent rash decision.

The stripper reached for the stripper pole, showing his dimpled slender back as he shook his ass, chest pressed against the metal, and the crowd groaned in appreciation, throwing wads of dollar bills on stage at the angel's feet. His angel simply ignored the blatant bait and continued making love on stage. He began spinning around the pole, a free effervescent movement achieved through years of practice and hard work, his long blond hair alive with sweat, he looked focused, in his element.

The man reached to the top of the pole and then dropped down on to the floor with a wide-angled split, the tightness of his pants highlighting his crotch area, which pressed against the fabric of the jeans, a noticeable bulge that made David's mouth water.

Slowly, the stripper crawled on his hands and feet, the curve of his back submissive and cock-hungry, his ass still positively shaking, every inch of the Prince's body thrived with graceful movement, subtly highlighting his obvious dance background. 

He crawled forward and let the people on the sides of the stage stuff cash into his pants, barely noticing them as he stalked towards David, a prey going to predator, a moth to a beautiful flame. 

The angel had no eyes for another, his heart stolen by the patron who came by every week, sat at the same chair, drank the same drinking concoction and stared at him with his enticing scarlet red eyes, a shade that he'd never seen on anyone else in his entire existence. Those eyes drank him up, and he knew the patron had made love with him countless of times, just by staring at him dancing. 

When he finally reached the albino man, he was slightly taken aback by the noticeable bulge in his pants, but not in the slightest bit deterred.

He licked his lips and swiftly placed himself on the man's lap, groaning right against his ear as he ground his ass on top of the clothed dick, a prize surely for him to unwrap and  _take._

"Hey, daddy." He whispered into David's ear, smirking slightly as he felt the man's spine shudder against the palm of his hand.

"Do you want me to..." The Prince wrapped his arms around the man's neck and began peppering light kisses on the man's cheek, "Fix your little problem?"

David let go of his restraint and cupped the Prince by the butt, a tight hold that had the Prince obscenely moaning. 

There was no way either of them were about to refuse such a request.


	5. i'll walk you home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> goddo this one sucks because i have no ideas.

Dean knew it was a bad idea entering the forest. All of his friends and family had warned him with heavy words to stay off the trail that lead to the inner heart of the woods, but he could not resist; it was simply in his nature to be curious and probing of things that were unknown, that were not explainable by human knowledge. Perhaps one day that curious nature of his would be the reason for his death.

As he stepped on the twigs of the forest floor, he looked around and saw the dimming light of the summer sun and surprised himself; how long had he been wandering for?

The next thing he'd noticed was the quietness of it all.

Even the birds had stopped their sweet tweeting, the only sound was of the wind and his own breath that fogged up the air as he breathed it out.

Cold.

His heartbeat pulsed as his ears twitched at the sound of anything that wasn't of his own body's volition and his back grew sweatier. 

Someone was watching him.

Who?

He could feel the chilly goosebumps rise up his arms and he wondered whether or not the creature could detect his change in heartbeat, his realisation of their presence, he wondered if they could scent his obvious fear.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he spotted a luminous orange-golden light mapping the ground with its shadow, moving with him as he stepped forward. He furrowed his eyebrows.

He heard a crunch and twisted around with such self-surprising vigor that he felt his head spin dangerously, stumbling.

An unchecked breath left his lips as he saw the  _beautiful_ figure that stood in front of him.

The figure had glorious wings that spanned to twice his body height, the sweet colour of vibrant clementines or ripened tulips in the summer wind, laced with delicate designs framing its almost translucent colour that made it see through. The figure himself was of an otherworldly beauty, hard to explain and hard to define. Hair of the softest silk, entwined with the flowers of the forest; blue bells, violets, daffodils between the long satin-soft locks.

The man had eyelashes that fanned out on his glowing ethereal tanned skin when he blinked and were light enough to make his orange eyes the first thing to get stuck on. His cupid's bow arched out and his lips were so perfectly kissable, Dean almost wanted to bruise the colour a shade of passionate red.

"Human." The fairy's soothing voice called out and he felt the sound pouring itself down into his deep bones. "Perhaps, you are lost?" 

Dean forgot to answer and upon the realisation, hurriedly stood straight and stuttered out, "I can't find my way out."

The beautiful androgynous person let out bells of laughter, so sweet but leaving all too soon that it made Dean wonder if he'd imagined the entire thing up, or not. "That is usually the case with the humans that try and unlock the secrets in my forest."

"Your forest?" Dean couldn't help but ask, curious even more.

"Why yes." The figure reclined his head in acknowledgement, "I am the ruler of this prosperous land. I would like to exchange what I am called with you, but my name is long forgotten and unpronounceable by those of the human tongue and skin."

"Could you give me a close translation?" Dean didn't want to keep referring to this beautiful creature as a beautiful creature. He was sure that the name would catch on and he would accidentally blurt out the name mid-conversation.

"I am the protector of my people, of my land." The fairy chimed, floating towards him. "I suppose I could be called the sword of the forest; the Dirk." 

"Dirk." Dean breathed out, reverently, heavily. 

"Pray tell me your name?" Dirk asked, stepping forward, bare-feet and unsullied. This human piqued his interests and it had been so  _long_ since he'd been enthused about anything that didn't regard the well-being and news of his people.

"My name? My name is Dean." He replied, "I live in the hut just right out near the forest."

"That is fascinating." Dirk had no idea that a family of humans had lived so close to him, he found it peculiar that he hadn't sensed the change in air and surroundings as he usually did, perchance being the physical representation of the forest's spirit had perhaps left him too smug about his invincibility.

He would have to check on the wards and reapply them should they seem weak. On second thought, he would have to reapply them regardless.

"Is it?" Dean asked, confused.

"Truly." Dirk nodded his head. "For today, however, I will guide you back to your home and we shall have to continue our conversation another morrow."

Dirk held out a palm for Dean to grasp, to which the human did, almost shuddering at the difference in skin quality; the spirit of the forest's hand seemed to be of the softest butter, of a baby's bosom perhaps. His was ruined with callouses and scars, done so from the overuse of the ax for food and fire, and daily chores that he upheld as the caretaker of the group.

"We must be quick." Dirk added, "Moonbeams are fast approaching our company, and the forest is dangerous at night."

Dirk could not deny the creatures that crawled out at night weren't in the least bit harmful and venomous to the fragile humans that lurked in civilization. However, he was the protector of the forest and the people that inhabited the land, he would protect both the existence of such animals and of the humans that existed.

Too soon came the time depart the lovely creature that had been so quick to help him, and he spoke, shattering the calming, the soothing silence that they'd walked in.

"Will I see you again?" Were the words that hastily left his lips as he stopped walking.

"Why, of course." Dirk giggled again, looking at him with a fond expression.

"Good." Dean awkwardly replied, shuffling slowly.

"Perhaps these will appease your inconsequential worries." Dirk waved a hand and placed a blue bell in Dean's broader, coarser hand. "This flower is of the deeper parts of my forest, should you want to approach me, you should bring this with you to the forest; my people will recognise the gift and then eventually guide you to me."

Dean blinked once, blinked twice at the considerate gift.

"Thank you." he delicately closed his fist around the petals, careful to not crumple it.

"I will have to leave for now." The spirit inclined his head. "I will see you another time, Dean."

"Of course." Dean briskly nodded. 

He stood and watched as the delicate figure disappeared back into his land, leaving shimmering fertility and renewal in his wake. 

The scent of clementines and ripe tulips stained the crisp air of the evening.

Dean's eyes glinted its dangerous red for the first time in centuries.


End file.
